Knowing Where You Came From
Responding to Match Party Comments
Obama On National Foster Care Month
May is National Foster Care Month!—“Across America, there are families who need these children as much as these children need families,” said President Obama in his Presidential Proclamation for National Foster Care Month. Obama stated the Administration’s commitment to achieve security for every child and raised visibility to permanency initiatives at the Department of Health and Human Services. These initiatives are focused on reducing long-term foster care for children and over the next five years will invest $100 million in new intervention strategies to help youth move into permanent families. Recognizing that the Nation has a responsibility to provide the best care possible for children when they cannot remain in their own homes, Obama recognized the efforts of tireless individuals that work on behalf of children in out of home care. To access the White House press release visit:http://tiny.cc/900hv
Match Parties - are you for or against?
Our daughter found her birth/first family. And when they responded—in kindness with no doubt a good dash of curiosity—they invited her to visit. She took them up on the invitation. (And yes, gut reaction: I was thrilled for her—and them—but, at the same time, died a little inside.)
While I experienced a wall between us and some quite palpable distance before she went, the months since her return, much to my surprise, there seems to be emerging a unique and different closeness—she calls a bit more often to tell us news and even asks our help now and again.
Delaware Valley Legacy Fund’s Non-profit of the Year
The Delaware Valley Legacy Fund (DVLF) strives to increase philanthropy and grantmaking to support the community needs of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight-allied communities. DVLF advances philanthropy for the LGBT community through endowment building, fundraising, community outreach and education.
Possible Change in Virginia’s Adoption Policy
Getting to the Semantics
There is currently a movement in the state of Virginia where progressive gay and lesbian groups are urging Governor Bob McDonnell to support a proposed non-discrimination provision for the current adoption policy in Virginia. The change has to do with simple semantics. It calls for a modification of the language of the policy, which currently excludes unmarried couples from adopting. The new proposed language would prohibit delaying or denying someone the chance to adopt based on race, gender, sexual orientation or religion. This provision does nothing more than ensure that a person who seeks to adopt a child is not denied the opportunity simply because of who he or she is or what he or she believes. One positive outcome from this change is that hundreds of homes could potentially welcome children from the foster care system desperately waiting for a family.
The National Adoption Center has, for decades, been an advocate for the LGBT community and their rights to adopt. Through our proactive programs, we help spread the word to the LGBT community about their opportunities to adopt and welcome them as potential adopters. There are currently 5,000 children up for adoption in Virginia and we see the gay community there as one that widens the pool of prospective parents for these waiting children.
Governor Bob McDonnell currently not supportive of the language improvement and has until Saturday to give his official recommendation to the Social Services Board which has the final say in the matter. You can help push this provision forward by writing to Governor Bob McDonnell via his website (listed below) and urging him to lend his support. You can also visit the website for Equality Virginia, a leading gay rights group in Virginia, and send a letter to the Chair of the State Board of Social Services via a link on their homepage (link also listed below).
Write to Gov. Bob McDonnell:
Learn more about the National Adoption Center LGBT Initiative at:
Is Cost a Factor?
Adoptive Families magazine recently surveyed its readers on the type and cost involved in their adoptions during the previous year. With over 1,800 parents responding, the 2009-2010 Cost of Adoption Survey reported the following mean costs: newborn (agency-$33,793, attorney-$31,465); international adoption (ranging from $28,254 in Ethiopia to $49,749 in Russia): and U.S. foster care ($2,704 and receive monthly subsidy averaging $604). Does the cost of adoption play a significant role in the type chosen?
Last week I had the chance to take three boys to a radio show to talk about the kind of families they hoped might adopt them. The boys were not the young school-aged children I often take to this show. One was 11, the other two were were teenagers—14 and 15; all of them still hope that there may be a family that will want them.
Teenagers often go unnoticed by prospective adopters. Some don’t know that teenagers are available to be adopted. Others hesitate to adopt an adolescent, believing that they can’t have much impact on the way he or she will grow up. I wish those skeptics could have been with me last week and listened to what the children said:
Shahid, 15: I want a family that will always care about me and will be there for me. I would give them love and make them proud of me.
Cinque, 11: I’m imaginative and like to think things through. I want to be an archeologist when I grow up and hope I will have parents to encourage me. My biggest hope is that soon I will be in a good home.
Zamir, 15: Having a family is so important to me. It’s what I want more than anything else. I would be a good son, help around the house and be kind to them and to other people. I haven’t given up.
More adoption agencies are focusing on teenagers. They know what happens when children “age out” of foster care without a permanent family. Teenage pregnancy rates soar. Drug and alcohol abuse are common. Their rates of crime, delinquency and mental illness escalate. That’s why the National Adoption Center has been holding adoption “match” parties for teenagers. Its next one, funded by the Pennsylvania Statewide Adoption Network (SWAN) is scheduled for Saturday, March 26 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Philadelphia.
People who have adopted teenagers say they wish they hadn’t hesitated…they wish they had done it sooner. “I can see how my son has changed since he has been with my partner and me in a stable home,” says Edward. “He can focus more on his schoolwork and his grades have improved. And he no longer worries that one day he’ll have to pack his bags and move on to the next home. He knows he’s here to stay.”